I’m a reluctant gardener, always too busy doing other things to spend time looking after the garden. Every now and then when things got really bad (overgrown) I would do some superficial work that made it look alright, but the problem was still there and the roots of the ivy were just getting bigger and deeper. It seemed an impossible task, if I did anything about the ivy, I would have to get some new fence panels as the ivy had been holding them up, the flower beds would need to be dug up to get the ivy roots out, the reasons why I shouldn’t or couldn’t do it were endless. So I convinced myself it was too big a job, I wouldn’t be strong enough, I didn’t know how to do it. It would cost too much. The last couple of years saw the ivy really take hold and invade all areas, I stopped going out there and just avoided it. But then a few months ago when the sun started shining, I really wanted to have a space outside to enjoy in the evening, and so it began.
I started on one of the raised flowers beds and dug like my life depended on it! I became obsessed and when I got this massive ivy root out the feeling of victory was awesome. I’ve now managed to work my way round the garden and hopefully I’m coming to the last of the really big stuff to cut back and dig out, I’m looking forward to some more gentle gardening! It’s taken a good few weeks of hot and sweaty work (sorry for that picture!) It wasn’t going to change overnight, after all it had taken many years to get like this. What I have learnt from this experience is that I am much more capable than I often give myself credit for, I’m physically stronger as a result of the gardening I have been doing and I’m really hopeful for what I can now grow in the future. I’m looking forward to tending flowers rather than pulling out the weeds.
How is this related to fertility you may be asking? Well directly it’s not but indirectly it is. I think it really explains how I work with clients who are in particular facing fertility issues. Clients tend to arrive feeling incredibly worn down, overwhelmed and feeling like they have failed at something that ‘everyone else can just do’. There is a sense that they have lost control and sadly relationships can really start to suffer, infertility can be an incredibly stressful experience for many couples. When I work with clients we can uncover the ivy, the deep seated beliefs that are no longer helpful. We can clear away the past feelings that can weigh you down. Many women I work with have unexplained infertility, so there is no medical reason for them not to conceive. They have given up trusting in their own bodies natural ability to conceive and may already to going down the route of IVF. Round after round of failed IVF cycles can be brutal, physically, emotionally and financially.
It makes good sense to clear the way, prior to undergoing any medical interventions, deal
with the unconscious drivers that we are unaware of. For some women this work will enable them to conceive naturally, for others the support I can give helps them increase the chance of conceiving using IVF. Together we will create a map to navigate through the often turbulent times ahead. If you have worries or concerns about your fertility it can feel like a very lonely place to be, don’t wait any longer to get help.
I planted 2 climbers where I had taken out the ivy, today the first flower bloomed, it makes all the hard work worthwhile. If you look at impossible from another perspective it says I’m possible.